Which will bring me nicely to an area in which God has been challenging me and teaching me over the last 6 months.
Boundaries.
A scary word for sure, one that could give feelings of safety, or leave for feeling boxed in and trapped.
For me, it has been liberating. For every yes that I would speak, carries with it an implied no to everything else.
An example is this, when I get married in 7 weeks (Woohoo!) and I say my vows to Dieuwke before man and God, I am saying yes to her. Only her.
My yes to her carries with it a no to every other girl in the world. No matter how smart beauttiful, funny, whatever gets you going. It doesn't matter, because my yes to her was a no to all others. Period.
It sets me free from the burden of 'what if's. I'm sure that you all know what I'm talking about. What if she/he is the one, how should I act around them, what should I wear, should I laugh at that joke or ignore it?
Silly, but very true, at least for me.
I no longer have the worry about all of these things.
Instead I have the freedom and security of committed love.
In this way it is the same for other areas. My boundaries of love, set me free from being everything to everyone and so being useless to all. I have encountered many times in ministry or life in general that as we desire to be generous and giving, we say yes to a lot. Which is great, and we need to keep saying yes, as long as it stays in it's right priorities. Saying yes to counselling that student at 7 o'clock every night means I miss out on time with my other close friends and soon to be wife.
Staying up late every night dealing with peoples crises' leaves me too tired to get up early in the morning to spend time with the number 1 priority, my relationship with the Father, Son, and Spirit. Is it right to neglect God in favour of man and their needs?
Jesus said to Judas when he was indignant over the vast worth of the gift that a woman lavished on Jesus. "The poor you will always have with you". This doesn't mean that we forget about them or treat them with contempt, but it shows that the needs of people are endless and we cannot get caught up in determining our lives around that purpose. We say what the Father says, do what He does. We say yes to the things that He asks us to, and that carries with it no to others. and there is no condemnation in this.
I don't want to look back in 20 years time and see a family that I've lived with but don't know. Or a God that I worship and serve but have no passion for.
I don't want to have been so busy doing the right things that I have missed the best thing.
And that's where I'm at, maybe you can relate, maybe you can't maybe you've been through this already. Feel free to share, or let me know if this is something that you also have dealt with/struggle with.
Peace,
Daniel